Transformation as an element of speech formation
Why do I write so much down? - Well, because I like to read. Even if it was nothing else than junk, what I wrote down, I can learn something about myself.
A transformation from the above words:
Empty sheet - clear head
If I get to words, I'll just screw it up.
I didn't get it right; it probably wasn't meant to be.
I was unclean to myself for a long time.
I couldn't fix it, didn't get it right.
However, I continue with it, searching for a deeper meaning for myself.
I could go on and on and on and on.
So many confused thoughts bother me.
They put me in chains, they put me in barriers.
and make me tired and weary.
But rarely do I see it blossom.
times to argue better for myself.
That's when I finally get to work,
albeit only for a few seconds.
I express myself, these words come from the heart.
It senses me, there are many kinds of pain.
I didn't do it for a joke,
it's getting through me, it's in the blood.
I couldn't and I don't want to change that.
As a dilettante, I don't conquer distant lands.
I couldn't manage anything in a bottle,
as such a botcher, I have few chances.
Despite all these many doses.
I wouldn't break up such a fuss.
I'm going to take a few thoughts with me,
...and thereby set my mind its finite limits.
Of course, I too will pass away one day,
surely the wind will blow my ashes away one day.
As long as I can, I wouldn't worry about it.
When it's over, I'll still be this small.
I won't give in and I'll fight back,
...before others run my affairs.
Still nothing has become arbitrary for me.
There's a lot to fix, a lot to show for.
All that crying about weakness and time,
I still wouldn't be ready for that.
I resist any false morals.
This is necessary and banal, I find it good, not shit.
Meanwhile, bad and good attract each other.
It goes like this, my heart's in it.
I'm thinking about that, I guess that's the idea.
It's the truth for me. It'll be right.
As I recognize it, that's what it means to me.
I walk towards it and explore it with strength.
With words I bring such light into my thinking.
With thoughts I take possession of myself.
Feel the feeling yourself and then remember it.
That will be my imagination and it still lingers with me.
Mathias Schneider, in Offenburg on 09.09.2018